The Almost Me

If I had been a boy, my name would have been Zachary. Zachary David. I like the name Zachary. It’s classic and modern at the same time. I don’t think names that start with “z” will ever go out of style. Only recently have I ever spent time pondering the nonexistent life of this almost-me. I think he—Zachary, I mean—would not have been too different from the actual me.

He has dirty blonde hair that changes shade with the seasons, just like mine. He has light brown eyes and a few freckles that only appear in the sun. His skin is fair but not pale, and he enjoys reading and Sudoku. He’s at least a little unstable, like me, but who isn’t? He was in band in middle school because his grandfather played the saxophone, and continued in high school because he’d fallen in love with making music.

He probably decided to learn to play guitar or drums somewhere along the line because he likes rock music and wants to impress girls. He’s never had a girlfriend though, because he’s a little nerdy and socially awkward. He hopes that when the right person comes along, he’ll know. He’s got a tough outer shell but he’s a softy on the inside. Don’t tell him I told you.

He’s a good older brother. Nobody messes with his little brother and sister without hearing from him. He makes good grades without having to work too hard. He’s stubborn and tenacious. He’s also got a caffeine addiction he picked up from his grandma.

He didn’t read the Thoroughbred series, so he doesn’t have a crazy obsession with horses. He likes dragons, though, and ninjas and pirates and other various hardcore things. He read the Alex Rider books, but felt no compulsion to watch the movie because he did not find the actor who plays Alex dreamy, even with his English accent. As a result, he did not waste a year of his life stalking said actor.

He wields the sword Sarcasm like an extension of himself, fluidly and precisely. He isn’t into purses, but he likes shoes. Guy shoes, you know. He skies and snowboards, but he likes snowboarding better. He doodles, but he doesn’t doodle flowers or horses; he doodles dragons and superheroes and spends time wondering what superpower he would pick if he were to one day get struck by lightning or fall accidentally into a vat of toxic waste. He knows neither of those things will ever happen.

That was Zachary, the almost-me. Perhaps he exists in some alternate reality somewhere. I hope you enjoyed getting to know him. I certainly did.